So many men with brains in their weiners

Image by maxintosh via Flickr

Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y.

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Rep. Anthony Weiner, please join the growing line of men in and out of public life whose brains are in their penises.

You can read all about Weiner and his erection on A-1 and A-4 of The Record today, but doctors still haven't determined whether Publisher Stephen A. Borg and Editor Francis Scandale even have brains, let alone where they're located.

Is he bombed?

Scandale, for example, was blown away by the story on a small pipe bomb that exploded in a Fair Lawn neighborhood -- injuring no one -- so he made it the most important news of the day on Page 1 today.

He was scraping the bottom of the news barrel, it seems, judging from the huge photo that fills space on the jump page (A-7). 

The caption is ridiculously vague -- three ATF agents could be examining a dog turd for all we know. The one standing is either pointing at something or describing the size of someone's weiner to his colleagues.

Of course, the big, A-1 photo of an ATF agent looking under a pickup truck is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

Also on A-1 is Governor Christie's plan to spin off NJN, the state-owned TV and radio network, with the loss of more than 100 public jobs.

Christie argues NJN should be independent of state government, although the few times I've watched its TV news program, I was bored to tears. Jim Hooker, the anchor, has the demeanor of a funeral director.

Buried news

But why did Scandale bury on L-7 the guilty plea of a Ridgewood man who was a member of Bernard Madoff's inner circle? Eric Lipkin, 37, agreed to surrender his home and forfeit $1.4 million.

Or, on A-4, there's  a terrific photo of hotel maids and other workers outside of court, jeering Dominique Strauss-Kahn, another moron whose brain is in his penis.

The young, filthy rich Lipkin and the hotel-workers photo should have been outside, in place of the  pipe-bomb explosion that hurt no one.

There's seems to be a hitch in NJ Transit's plans to sell naming rights to the No. 780 bus between Englewood and Passaic city (A-7). 

The mostly minority riders hope the decrepit, decades-old vehicle will be dubbed, "The Heartbreak Local." 

What's she smoking?

Head Assignment Editor Deirdre Sykes devotes a good deal of her Local front today to the continuing battle to control weeds on Greenwood Lake.

The bi-state lake has to be the most documented body of water in North Jersey, judging from all the coverage of this very same problem in The Record over the years.

Hey, Deirdre, it's you and your assignment editors who need to be weeded out.

From hunger

In Better Living, Food Editor Susan Leigh Sherrill's major contribution every Wednesday is a single recipe from a free cookbook she promotes shamelessly.

So why is Staff Writer Mike Kerwick peddling another cookbook and book signing on F-1 today?

On F-3, how can a mac-and-cheese recipe with four tablespoons of butter and one cup of half-and-half be called "healthy," and why is nearly one-third of the page devoted to the cook?