By VICTOR E. SASSON
Before the sun finally came out around 11:30 this morning, I didn't know whether to blame the weather or The Record's lackluster Sunday edition for my moodiness.
Just when you've had it with the distant nightmare of Superstorm Sandy (late October 2012), nearly half of today's front page is covered with another cliche-filled column on the future of a Jersey shore town (A-1).
Staff Writer Mike Kelly brings his shit-eating-grin perspective to a subject most of us are sick of reading about already.
The headline grabs your attention -- "Mix of dread and defiance" -- but the column fails to deliver on the latter, and Kelly never mentions how the Christie administration bungled all that federal aid.
In the second paragraph, a poor schmuck named Bill Mullen the reporter latched onto "gazes" at broken tile from the bathroom of his Ortley Beach home, which was destroyed by Sandy.
For years now, Kelly has nearly every subject in every column gazing at something or other.
Then in his fifth paragraph, Kelly claims "Bill Mullen's dream is as sturdy as the sand that he hopes will one day hold the foundation of his new home."
Wait a minute.
Sand is far from "sturdy," and aren't all new Jersey shore homes built near the ocean supposed to be supported by pilings -- like the one shown in the Page 1 photo with the column -- not a foundation?
And this is the best the Woodland Park newsroom could manage for the Sunday paper. Unbelievable.
Christie in Mexico
Another burned-out columnist, Staff Writer Charles Stile, previews Governor Christie's visit to Mexico next week (A-1).
Leaders of drug cartels had been planning to kidnap Christie and hold him for ransom until they found out the GOP bully's fiscal policies have nearly bankrupted the Garden State.
New Jersey State Police would be offering bushels of Jersey tomatoes, corn and peaches to gain Christie's freedom.
Max Aronson of Woodcliff Lake might want to put his kitchen skills to work improving the poor food service at Hackensack High School, just a couple of miles away from where he studies culinary arts at the Bergen County Academies (Better Living cover).
When school starts on Wednesday, Hackensack High students will be voting on the lousy food in their roach-infested cafeteria with their feet, walking to nearby pizzerias, McDonald's, Dunkin' Donuts and even Starbucks for lunch.
|A sign on the door of 479 Main St. in Hackensack.|