What was Governor Christie thinking when two African-American clergymen laid their hands on him and blessed him at a Baptist church in Paterson on Tuesday?
Was he dying for another extra-large pepperoni pizza and a few bottles of beer? Was he thinking, Get me out of here?
You won't find a clue in The Record's Page 1 story today on Christie's latest community meeting.
But the GOP bully came off as a benevolent master promising residents of the plantation a better future, if not freedom from their greedy mayor and his fellow overseers.
Wait a second. Isn't Christie just pedaling his usual brand of "reform" B.S.?
Didn't Christie cut aid to Paterson and other crime-ridden cities, forcing them to lay off police officers?
And didn't he cut the school breakfast program for poor children? So, why aren't those cuts mentioned in the story?
Silk City schools
The story also leaves another big question unanswered: Who has failed to lift Silk City schools after 21 years of state control and oversight?
And why isn't Christie talking about the crucial role of parents in their children's education instead of constantly beating up on teachers and administrators?
Commuters be damned
With commuters caught in nightmarish traffic jams or crammed aboard rush-hour trains and buses, readers can always count on Road Warrior John Cichowski to take the easy way out and invent another irrelevant column, like today's musings on highway littering (L-1).
Of course, Cichowski tries to deflect attention away from all of the drivers who e-mail him with their inane questions in hopes of seeing their names in print.
These slobs are the real problem, treating roads and highways as if they are in their own unkempt homes.
Sellout, not buyout
The Borgs offered a buyout to Cichowski and other newsroom workers who are at least 60 years old, but he didn't take the hint.
Production Editor Liz Houlton even offered part of her six-figure salary to sweeten the pot and end her embarrassment over her copy editors missing all the errors Cichowski makes in nearly every column.
Houlton published two corrections on A-2 today, following a correction and clarificiation on Tuesday, but none of them acknowledged Cichowski's mistakes.
Today's Local section seems to be reserved for the dead, with three local obituaries, the most I've seen in one edition, plus more than two pages of death notices (L-1 and L-6).
How many of them were subscribers who died of boredom?