Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Record and Toyota

Have you noticed all the unsold Toyotas piling up in the parking lot at 150 River St. in Hackensack, former headquarters of the once-great daily newspaper? The imposing, brick building now echoes with the ghosts of all the 20- and 30-year employees of The Record who left during a reorganization ordered by the greedy Borg family to pave the way for the move to Woodland Park last year.

Toyota Prius (ZVW30)Image via Wikipedia
More unsold Toyotas, especially the ones involved in a major recall reported in today's paper, are likely to join the more than 100 vehicles I saw when I drove by -- then through the lot -- on Monday. Good news for tree-huggers: the 2010 gas-electric Prius hybrid (photo) isn't on the list of vehicles with sticking accelerators.

The story in the Business pages (L-9) didn't give the Borgs credit for the clever idea of renting out empty parking spaces to Hackensack Toyota to make up revenue lost from all the readers and advertisers in Hackensack and other towns who have noticed the shameful job the paper is doing in covering local news. There are still hundreds of spaces left, so maybe the Borgs could erect a big screen and open a drive-in. 

Grilled hot dogs

Malcolm A. Borg, chairman of North Jersey Media Group, and head Assignment Editor Deirdre "Laughs A Lot" Sykes could run the popcorn and candy concession, and Food Editor Bill Pitcher could hawk all the preservative-filled hot dogs, drug-filled hamburgers and sugary cakes and cookies he loves to write about. Borg is the only one who still has his office in the River Street building.

I'm sure residents of Hackensack and all the other towns affected by the tremendous noise from roof-skimming private jets were overjoyed to see a huge L-1 photo of  the planes parked at Teterborto Airport. That signals the lazy, incompetent editors aren't aware of how aggravating the aircraft are and that there is little local news in the Local section. (When is a reporter going to remove his head from you-know-where and look into what a huge impact the airport has on the quality of life in Bergen County?)

Looking for Hackensack news? Well, homeless people got free haircuts. Looking for Englewood news? Well, a doctor from there talks about his experiences  in Haiti. Looking for Teaneck news? Well, another doctor talks about his experiences there.

A correction and a clarification appear on A-2 today. I don't know if either involves a horny editor being distracted by one of the attractive, young female reporters in the Woodland Park newsroom, and staring down her shirt when he should be vetting her copy.
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  1. Horniness requires a pulse, Veektor.

    And what's wrong with having attactive QUALIFIED women on your staff? People always accused me of deliberately hiring hot babes -- oh, like one who came in with a Pulitzer and others who've gone on to much greater accomplishments, like NG and LK and the dazzlingly talented AK (even though I brought in KM, PL and PP, among other dudes).

    Admittedly, the honey wasn't as sweet once MT left, although AH took up the slack before bolting, as well (I can say that, cause I dated both). Then again, neither was a reporter. Nor are MH and KM -- both of them gorgeous inside and out, and more skilled than you and me put together, bud.

    So what if MK -- my all-time crush and the sexiest woman in journalism not named Rachel Sklar -- happens to work there? Or the blinding SA? (Sorry, SB. Just statin' fact.)

    The joint has some good-looking men, as well. I'm sure. I think. No? OK, since I left the male hottie level has dropped considerably, but what did you expect?

    Losing OC on the distaff side was a blow -- although those of us lucky to be her FB friends get to share each and every smooch and cuddle as she and new hubby J.P. Gotrocks III trot the globe (Were he and Peter Sellers separated at birth?).

    In fact, unless there've been defections from Hooters, I don't think the sexual tension is anywhere near what it used to be -- at least not since skunk hair and Pearl White were caught canoodling on the Great Lawn. My guess is there are more clock blockers than heart stoppers.

    Which reminds me: Is K Five Cents still there?

  2. To readers:

    Your assignment, if you wish to accept it, is identifying all the people here now named only with initials.

    Victor Sasson


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