By VICTOR E. SASSON
Readers of The Record took one look at another front page from journalism hell -- dominated by Governor Christie, Medicare payments to hospitals and baseball -- and dove into the paper, looking for something relevant to their lives.
If you glance at the headlines and text on Page 1, you'll see that Christie spoke to supporters of his presidential bid and promised to "kick 'hope and change' out" in 2016.
"We're going to bring a little Jersey to the White House," said the GOP bully, who is ninth in a Fox News debate field of 10 clowns on Thursday (A-1).
That's great. Christie would replace "hope and change" with "despair and the status quo," and export the hell he's created in New Jersey to the rest of the country.
And Christie's statement that he has used birth control with his wife is at odds with all of the years he has spent screwing the middle class in New Jersey (A-8).
When did he have the time or the energy to have sex with first lady Mary Pat Christie?
Jason Nunnermacker, a lawyer who is president of the Board of Education, has announced his second bid for a seat on the Hackensack City Council.
Nunnermacker, an ally of the Zisa family political machine that ran the city for decades, headed a slate that lost the 2013 municipal election.
Now, he's filed a nominating petition for the special Nov. 3 council election to fill a vacancy created by the resignation of Rose Greenman.
Nunnermacker has appeared at council meetings for the last two years to criticize Greenman, Mayor John Labrosse and other city officials.
But he's never discussed why the school budget has continued to increase to the point where it now exceeds the city budget.
Nor has he addressed allegations that a teacher stole two laptops from a school and a supervisor falsified time cards of a subordinate.
As head of the school board, he also has ignored about $58,000 in overbilling by board attorney Richard Salkin in 2014.
That's over Salkin's contract limit of $95,000 a year.
The Record's Hackensack reporter, Todd South, also is aware of the theft and time-card allegations, but he hasn't bothered to report them.
Editors Deidre Sykes and Dan Sforza managed to keep Law & Order filler news to a minimum in today's Local section.
By they did find room for a photo of an SUV that ran into a utility pole in Englewood (L-3).
However, the caption, based on information supplied by the photographer, tells readers nothing about the possible cause.
And here's breaking news:
"An ambulance was observed leaving the area and heading toward Englewood Hospital and Medical Center."
A story on opposition to a proposal for 24o apartments in Upper Saddle River doesn't explore whether homeowners are trying to keep out black and Hispanic renters (L-9).
The editors frequently portray seniors as confused residents of nursing homes or so addled they mistake the accelerator for the brake pedal, smashing their cars into other people or storefronts.
But on L-1 today, a photo shows an engaged group of seniors picketing a Wayne zoning board meeting in opposition to a proposed 422-unit Avalon Bay apartment complex.
Cheap wood construction was one of the factors cited in the fast-spreading inferno that destroyed the 308-unit Avalon at Edgewater complex on Jan.21.
The headlines on the Better Living front promise "simple" and "healthy" recipes for college students (BL-1).
But the recipe on BL-4 calls for two teaspoons plus three tablespoons of artery clogging butter for a pound of flounder fillets.
And Staff Writer Elyse Torbio and the culinary expert she quotes, Jim Edwards of Chef Central in Paramus, don't bother teaching students one of the most valuable lessons of all:
Avoid meat and poultry with antibiotics, growth hormones and other harmful additives.
Meanwhile, clueless freelancer Kate Morgan Jackson advises readers to hold the mayo in a potato salad, but to make sure they include four slices of fatty bacon (BL-2).