|So many cars and SUVs will pack the roads of the Meadowlands during the Super Bowl a year from now, pedestrians will be able to walk on their roofs. (Dougtone)|
The National Football League is giving hospitals and police departments a year to prepare for the fallout from next year's Super Bowl in the Meadowlands, The Record reported on Friday's front page.
Meanwhile, the vast majority of readers and hundreds of thousands of other North Jersey residents are planning cruises or other vacations during Super Tidy Bowl Week in 2014 to escape the traffic chaos that is sure to ensue.
The medical community will be beefing up hospital cardiac surgery units to perform emergency coronary by-passes on all those football fans who consume tons of artery clogging beef at tailgate parties.
Beer, vomit, piss
Meanwhile, police are planning hundreds of DWI patrols to cope with the oceans of beer that will be consumed and the resulting geysers of vomit and piss.
The culture of inebriation will be matched only by out-0f-control corporate greed exhibited by the football league, team owners and the conservative Fox Network.
Friday's Super Tidy Bowl story noted New Jersey has to face "the reality of living in the shadow of New York."
That's especially true with the state being mismanaged by Governor Christie, the GOP bully who lags behind New York State and city on gun control, mass transit and in so many other areas.
More A-1 errors
Editor Liz Houlton's copy desk screwed up big time again on Page 1.
On Friday, the A-1 box on insurance premiums, with a story on new state standards for building in flood zones, conflicted with other information printed on A-6, the continuation page.
But the information was inaccurate. (See "comments" at the end of this post.)
The best thing Facebook billionaire Mark Zuckerberg could do for Christie is to finance bariatric surgery for the morbidly obese politician, not hold a fundraiser in his California home (A-3 on Friday).
Besides New York, California is putting New Jersey to shame (A-11 on Friday).
Gov. Jerry Brown has not only balanced that state's budget by raising the sales tax and the income tax on high earners, he has committed to a $68 billion high-speed rail project.
Christie, on the other hand, killed two Hudson River rail tunnels, setting back the expansion of mass transit a decade, and continues to fight a tax surcharge on millionaires.
On Friday's L-1, Road Warrior John Cichowski continued to give voice to traffic whiners like Anthony Bernice of Hasbrouck Heights.
The column, which relies completely on reader e-mails, also contains the usual inaccuracies, according to a concerned reader:
"The Road Warrior's Jan. 25 column continues his unending efforts to mislead readers and make up or grossly exaggerate information to fill up his columns with some crazy "gripes" about everyday road issues.
"In addition to checking his math mistakes, I suggest someone use a calendar to correct Road Warrior's inability to judge how long ago major events occurred.
"The Record continues to sacrifice its own integrity if it cannot prevent these gross mistakes, some of which are inexcusable, such as not knowing it is 12 weeks and NOT 8 weeks, as the Road Warrior claims, since Superstorm Sandy.
"The Record should also NOT publish the rantings of anyone who "wants to blow their brains out" or fictitiously "cry" over frustrating, but trivial road matters.
"It wouldn't take much for The Record to stop the Road Warrior's mistaken reporting."
The full -e-mail to management can be found on Facebook:
Standing up for road whiners
On Friday's L-3, a story reports four of the Hackensack City Council's five members announced on Tuesday night they would not run for a new term.
A slate of candidates will be running, headed by John Labrosse, the sole incumbent seeking election.
The story doesn't say what Labrosse has accomplished since he took office in 2009.
Crumbs for readers
Staff Writer Elisa Ung is taking a break from restaurant reviewing -- hoping to lose weight after consuming hundreds of desserts -- but the new reviewer is as weak as she is when it comes to reporting on food origin.
In Friday's Better Living, Bob Probert declares the food at The Kitchen in Englewood to be "remarkable," and said the veal rib chop "was the finest I've ever had."
But with chicken priced at $26 and that chop at $39, don't readers deserve to know whether the poultry and meat were raised naturally?
In today's Local section, head Assignment Editor Deirdre Sykes and her deputy, Dan Sforza, deliver big news -- the signing of "a ceremonial beam" at the site of the new Meadowlands Gambling Addicts Racetrack grandstand (L-1).
Can't you just smell the manure?
The Local front also carries municipal news from Teaneck and Englewood, but nothing from Hackensack.
A filler photo on L-3 shows that a driver dying a slow death from eating McDonald's food escaped injury when the minivan's engine burst into flames.