Christie keeps the bullshit flowing

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On a trip to L.A., above, reporter Scott Fallon discovers Santa Monica.

What do the environmentalists say?


The Christie administration is refusing to repair outdated sewer systems that pump 23 billion gallons of raw sewage into the water each year, despite pressure from the federal government.


This looks bad for Governor Christie's environmental record, Editor Francis Scandale of The Record reasons, so what can I do to minimize the damage?


The plan: "I'll push it down to the bottom of Page 1 in the Sunday paper, and see if most of the worst stuff about the state's defiance doesn't appear until the continuation page. No photos with shit flowing into water, please."  Check.


"What about that story we had in cold storage on hoaxes perpetuated against the Coast Guard? Hype that with photos, scary headlines, and make it the A-1 patch." Check.


Where's Brennan?


"What story was John [Brennan] promoting like a broken record? More meat-beating over the future of online gambling? We're stuck. Make it the lead, so we can take a hit for the Big Guy." Check.


So, there you have the likely scenario for today's front page -- the only story of wide public interest playing second fiddle to two yawners. What a dull paper, what a dull editor.


On the jump page of the sewage story, a staff attorney for the nonprofit NY/NJ Baykeeper says New Jersey has the worst program in the nation to deal with the problem (A-8).


"It's laughable," said Christopher Len, who could be talking about Scandale, too.


Head games


Just think of the opportunity Scandale squandered to run the sewage story across the top of Page 1, with a suitably alarming headline in big, black, bold type:

State defends shit flows

Sewage threatens Bogota

No shit, Christie, it stinks!

S. Hackensack breaks off into 3 parts

Christie: Go with the flow

Christie plans to float into White House

Christie: No one can say GOP smells

Tonight's special: Bass in brown sauce
Borgs debut (201) shitpaper
Christie: Not shit, just pure bull
Christie sewage pipe needs widening
Stampede for Costco toilet paper

Your submissions are welcome.

Where's Rimbach?


Head Assignment Editor Deirdre Sykes couldn't find enough local news for her Sunday section, so she relies on star reporter Jean Rimbach's take on a tattoo convention and the 65th Road Warrior column on the MVC (both L-1), and the Dean's List (L-2).


For his next Road Warrior column, John Cichowski is going to list roadside fast-food restaurants where drivers can induce mild diarrhea, so they can cut the lines at the MVC.


In Better Living, Restaurant Reviewer Elisa Ung's Sunday column, The Corner Table, profiles Unilever's corporate chef (F-1). Interesting, but what does that have to do with restaurants? 


For a Travel cover story on Washington, D.C., in July, Staff Writer Scott Fallon poached on The New York Times' 36-hour format. Today, he describes "2 days" in or near Los Angeles -- a welcome change (T-1).


He says he was traveling with his wife, but the caption on T-1 provides no clue as to the identity of the woman in Fallon's photo.