What is the paper really worth?

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What's worth more? A copy of The Record of Woodland Park or toilet paper?

At 8:30 this morning, my wife went out to our driveway to pick up our copy of The Record of Woodland Park, but the familiar light-blue plastic bag wasn't there.


I called. The announcement said I had reached the circulation department of the Herald News and The Record at the headquarters of North Jersey Media Group. Why is Herald News mentioned first? Isn't The Record the "flagship" of NJMG? 


Then, you're told a representative isn't available, but you can use an automated system.


Since mid-2008, when I started subscribing to the paper, I have never been able to speak to a "representative." Are there any representatives on duty or is this another fiction perpetuated by the Borgs, such as saying The Record was "published" at 150 River St. in Hackensack for a couple of years after printing was moved to Rockaway Township?


I won't bore you with the rest of the call, but if your paper is wet or missing, the circulation department isn't eager to rush another copy to you. Never mind the effort put into the paper by editors and reporters, and advertising people, and editorial employees whose stories sound like advertising.


No. First, you're offered two days' credit, and, of course, they'll "register your complaint." I always ask to have a copy delivered.


I pay a preferential rate for former employees that works out to 14 cents a copy. So, is the paper worth only 28 cents -- less than its cover price?