By VICTOR E. SASSON
Today's Page 1 expose in The Record suggests Governor Christie and three convicted former aides should be forced to guard the George Washington Bridge, and relieve themselves in empty water bottles.
The former associates -- David Wildstein, Bridget Anne Kelly and Bill Baroni -- were convicted in federal court of conspiring to close access lanes, triggering gridlock in Fort Lee on five mornings in September 2013.
The politically inspired Bridgegate scandal also put the kibosh on Christie's White House bid and a major post in the Trump administration.
The GOP thug, who knew about the lane closures as they were happening, was convicted in court of public opinion.
"One guard was almost hit by a suicide jumper falling from 200 feet above," Staff Writer Paul Berger says in the lead paragraph of a story on the harsh working conditions facing bridge security guards (1A, 8a and 9a).
So, community service as unarmed and unpaid security guards at the GWB would be fit punishment for Christie and the trio of former associates who triggered the lane closures.
In view of the governor's prodigious appetite for beer and pizza, he'd need a bucket or something larger in which to relieve himself.
If Saturday's front page didn't give you enough of a political perspective on Christie's future, Columnist Charles Stile is back today with another column that will bore you to tears (1A).
Then, brace yourself for yet another column on Christie, this one by Mike Kelly, who goes on and on about "the rust of his battered political career" (Opinion front).
Stories about a small number of the 90 or so towns in the circulation area appear in today's Local section (1L to 8L).
Wayne, Hawthorne (two stories), Montclair, West Milford, Ridgewood and Ringwood are represented, but not the three biggest communities in Bergen County -- Hackensack, Teaneck and Englewood.
John Cichowski's Road Warrior column on "misleading road signs" is probably the 20th he's written on the same subject since taking over the beat in late 2003 (1L).
The best read in the section is Jay Levin's obituary of Michael Smith, 53, of Waldwick, a quadriplegic who spent 35 years in a wheelchair working on behalf of the disabled (1L and 7L).
All in all, today's paper is just another thin Sunday edition from the payroll-slashing folks at Gannett.