Why working at The Record is a gas

An act familiar to anyone who has worked on The Record's news copy desk.

There is more important news on Page 1 and elsewhere in The Record today, but the item you really want to read is buried on L-3 in the Local section.

Under a generic headline, "Neighbor threatened with gun," a six-paragraph story reports a 72-year-old Teaneck man was charged for "allegedly threatening his neighbor ... for passing gas outside his apartment."

"Passing gas"? How quaint. As in, My hybrid car is passing gas stations.

'Farting' on the Web

However, on NorthJersey.com, the same reporter wrote the man allegedly threatened his neighbor with a revolver "for farting outside his apartment." 

The suspect told police the neighbor "farted" as he walked in front of the apartment -- a loud expelling of air through the narrow sphincter muscle that could be heard inside.

The headline says, "Police: Teaneck man, 72, pointed gun at neighbor over flatulence."

Here is a link to the story on the Web:

Man allegedly draws gun over fart 

By 6 p.m. today, nearly 900 readers had recommended the story on Facebook.

Room clearer

Why did head Assignment Editor Deirdre Sykes and Deputy Assignment Editor Dan Sforza shy away from using "farting" and "farted" in the paper?

Why didn't Editor Liz Houlton, supervisor of the news copy desk at the Woodland Park daily, flag "passing gas" as hopelessly outmoded?

The news copy editors should have been especially sensitive, because one of them has a malodorous reputation for farting throughout his shift, which usually begins in late afternoon and can run to midnight and beyond.

Zillions of farts

The farting has gone on for decades and no one except the copy editor himself knows whether it is an obscure medical condition -- fartonitis -- or can be traced to something he eats or is a result of severe lactose intolerance. 

Of course, the copy editors who sit near this gaseous bag have long complained -- to no avail.

That's why working at The Record has always been a gas.

And that's why Publisher Stephen A. Borg and Vice President/General Counsel Jennifer A. Borg, and some of the editors who work for them, long have targeted all of the "old farts" in the newsroom.

All of them except the veteran news copy editor who really smells up the place.

Page A-1 v. Page L-1

Three strong front pages on Monday, Tuesday and today have readers wondering why the Local news section remains so weak.

Page 1 on Monday informed readers the mild winter of 2012 meant nearly 2,000 fewer deaths.

At the bottom of the page, a profile of defense Attorney Robert Galantucci was the equivalent of a million dollars worth of free publicity, especially because it omitted what he charges his clients.

Today's front page reports another 1,000 jobs will be lost when Roche closes down its plant in Nutley and Clifton.

The two towns will lose about $14 million in tax ratables.

Roche is one of those so-called job creators Governer Christie and other Republicans are falling all over themselves helping with tax breaks and other favorable treatment. 

It's rare, but the news copy desk today came up with a clever headline over an A-1 report on nepotism in Garfield's schools:

Friends and family plan

This week's continuing coverage of a lawsuit filed Friday by the Giants and Jets shows the attempt to shut down the entertainment and retail complex called American Dream on Sundays has gone over like a lead balloon. 

On the Local front today, the Big Moron behind the Road Warrior column wrote a first paragraph about "the big bridge on the Hudson" and "the big mall called Willowbrook."