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If you're trying to avoid the additive-filled beef served at Sear House-- an expensive steakhouse in Closter -- don't order the swordfish entree, which is high in harmful mercury.

A truck flips on Route 3 and another vehicle rolls over on Route 17, and The Record is all over it today, with big photos plastered on Page 1 and the Local front, bringing readers the latest, ho-hum news.


Nothing tells readers better than these routine, non-fatal accident photos that interim Editor Douglas Clancy, head Assignment Editor Deirdre Sykes and their lazy sub-editors are desperate to fill space.


And nothing is a bigger slap in the face to the talented photographers the paper employs than this ridiculous ambulance chasing, which makes the once-great Woodland Park daily look like one of those silly weeklies.


Turn here for senseless


Since taking over as the Road Warrior more than eight years ago, John Cichowski has transformed a column on commuting problems into a column for drivers.


Now, can anyone tell me what he's blabbering about today (L-1)?


See L-8 for Hackesack news -- another long, detailed story on legal troubles in the Police Department.


Where is Your Money's Worth Columnist Kevin DeMarrais when you need him to explain why gasoline prices are going up again -- 7 cents overnight at a Shell station in Teaneck on top of a one day, 10-cent hike last week.


Stake in the heart


Staff Writer Elisa Ung knows so little about how beef is raised -- or is just feigning ignorance -- it is irresponsible to allow her to review restaurants, especially in view of her lavish praise today for Sear House in Closter.


On the Better Living cover, Sear is called "a dramatic new addition to the culinary scene," likely a reference to it being one of the most expensive restaurants in North Jersey -- with a $45 rib-eye steak.


What do customers get for their money? Fatty, grain-fed prime beef that is likely pumped full of harmful antibiotics and growth hormones, and possibly raised on animal by-products (kitchen scraps and bits of dead animals).


Ung doesn't say otherwise, so readers also have to assume the domestic lamb chops are raised with antibiotics and growth hormones. The 3-star Sear also serves swordfish, which is high in harmful mercury (Better Living centerfold).


Instead of important details on how the food Ung samples is raised or grown, readers get snappy, meaningless headlines, such as the cover's "Serious Steak."


Seriously unhealthy, that is.


Restaurant owners can get away with serving low-quality beef at ridiculously high prices only when they have complicit reviewers like Ung to help them hoodwink diners.

Who screwed this up so badly?

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The Record's big census package today is sloppy, confusing and inaccurate.

The census story that covers half of the front page today is a mess -- from the confusing main headline to the incomplete graphic under it to the inaccurate graphic on  A-6, the continuation page. 

How could so many people at The Record of Woodland Park screw up? Editor Francis Scandale put this flawed effort on Page 1, head Assignment Editor Deirdre Sykes and her minions supplied the information to the graphic artists, and the head of graphics and his arrogant assistant executed the error-filled maps.

This amateur hour leaves readers confused and frustrated.

Let's start with the main head, which is trying to tell readers the population of Bergen and Passaic counties grew in the 2000s, but at a slower pace than other regions of the state. This would have been a good head:

North Jersey

losing ground

Some genius decided the headline needed the word "is," but it didn't fit, so Production Director Liz Houlton and the news copy desk went with a contraction. The only problem is that the contraction also can be read as a possessive:

North Jersey's

losing ground

Does the "losing ground" belong to North Jersey? What does that mean? It gets worse.

Little Falls had the greatest percentage population gain in Passaic County, but it isn't listed under "Gainers" in the A-1 graphic. The towns that gained and lost the most people in Bergen and Passaic counties aren't labeled on the front-page map. There are more problems inside, on A-6:

The color-coding of the map -- labeled "Shift in political power" -- is badly screwed up, and doesn't match the legend. 

Essex and Cape May counties -- which had the biggest percentage losses in population -- are colored wrong. They should be deep blue. Gloucester and Ocean -- which had the greatest percentage gains -- are deep blue, but should be orange-brown.

Sacking Hackensack

Another graphic on A-6 shows that Hackensack remains the most populous community in Bergen County, but doesn't explain why Sykes, her minions and Hackensack reporter Monsy Alvarado treat the city where the paper was founded as if it is a backwater.

A-2 carries an embarrassing correction on Thursday's story about the Passaic Valley Sewerage Commissioners, who continue to smell to high heaven. The continuing shake-up of the agency leads today's paper.

Exploiting misery

The momentous news from Egypt is relegated to a Page 1 brief today. The surprising unrest across the Middle East only points up what a miserable job The Record and other U.S. media have done with their relentless focus on the conflict between Israel and the Palestinians.

Scandale promotes world news to the front page -- whether it's disease in Haiti or riots in Cairo -- with the inconsistency of an editor who is desperate to sell papers. He exploits misery with the same passion he devotes to squelching the aspirations of older newsroom workers.

Colliding editors

Non-fatal accident photos are finding their way back into Sykes' Local section (L-1, L-3 and L-6 today). They have been useful to fill space left empty by her minions and the reporters working under their confused direction.

Road Warrior John Cichowski's column today is far removed from his mission of covering commuting problems. 

Chick can't seem to tear himself away from the computer to witness how many drivers are being patient and civil with one another as they try to navigate dangerously narrowed streets, and contend with mounds of snow that block vision at intersections and other hazards left in the wake of the all the storms that have hit since Christmas.

Stephen A. Borg, president of North Jersey Media Group, wore a tie for a change when he appeared at a legislative hearing in Trenton (L-7) to testify against a bill that would allow towns to run their legal ads on their Web sites.

Now, those ads bring newspapers statewide $8 million in revenue, Borg testified, though he didn't say how much of that goes to NJMG's dailies and weeklies.

Vivi-section

 

In Better Living, Restaurant Reviewer Elisa Ung gives Vivi Italian restaurant in Hawthorne the Bahama Breeze treatment, rating it only two stars (Good). 

She didn't like the seafood nor did she appreciate the conflicting information from the staff on whether desserts are homemade. On top of that, they ran out of an eggless tiramisu on both of her visits. What nerve.