|Miller's N.J. Ale House on Route 4 in Paramus didn't call Fish for a seafood delivery. Imagine the possibilities: Bully Beef Building Maintenance, Pork Barrel Electricians and Lamb & Lion Plumbers.|
By VICTOR E. SASSON
If you can survive the boring front-page Tara Sullivan column on an assistant pro football coach with the improbable last name of "Studesville," there is really big Super Bowl news in The Record today.
Woody Johnson, the filthy rich owner of the Jets, who play in New Jersey but refuse to drop New York from their name, says it would be at least a decade before we could possibly see another Super Bowl in the Garden State (L-1).
First "Studesville," which sounds like "Studsville," and then "Woody," undoubtedly a phallic reference.
Isn't that grand? A respite of 10 whole years before the vast majority of readers have to wade through all this upbeat crap about pro football in every section of the Woodland Park daily.
In the interim, readers can only hope The Record does a little tougher reporting on wealthy team owners' response to compensating football players for all of the brain injuries they suffer (A-8 editorial).
Let's hope the Page 1 "expose" about Port Authority Chairman David Samson's ties to a luxury apartment development doesn't derail a $256 million reconstruction of a nearby PATH station in Harrison that he approved (A-1).
The PATH project would be one of the few improvements in a commuter-rail system that has languished under the Port Authority's well-known anti-mass transit policies -- a story The Record won't touch.
A Page 1 Charles Stile column and an A-3 story on the legislative probe round out today's Bridgegate scandal package.
Everyone involved seems to have received subpoenas except Governor Christie himself (A-3).
In his usual awkward style, Stile says Christie's staffers "have been hit with subpoenas" and the governor "has been served a heavy dose of comeuppance."
We also learn Christie "stormed into Trenton four years ago vowing to follow the advice of his 'tough as nails' Sicilian mother" that it is better to be feared than loved.
Still, Stile won't call Christie a "GOP bully," the name he has earned just about everywhere else.
But his Sicilian mother also must have given young Chris a love for pizza.
He became as soft as lard, if you believe the governor's claim he knew nothing about his staff plotting in early September to close George Washington Bridge local access lanes in Democratic Fort Lee.
Mahwah tax cut?
On the Local front, Mahwah residents who opposed a 600,000-square-foot shopping center at Routes 17, 287 and 87 were decades late in citing "traffic, environmental and quality-of-life issues" (L-1).
And given all the nincompoops elected or appointed to run Mahwah and every other home-rule town in North Jersey, residents probably can't even expect any property tax relief when the project is completed.
Lots of questions
An L-2 story about a bank robbery doesn't explain why Valley National Bank on Dean Street in Englewood had $66,000 in its vault.
Was it expecting a run on the bank or laundering large amounts of cash from illegal activities?
Another story on L-2 doesn't say Paterson laid off police officers in 2011 after Christie cut aid to poor cities, leading to a rise in crime in an already violent community.
The only photo of Christie in the paper today appears on L-3, where he is seen trying to overcome his love for pizza in a table tennis game at the Boys & Girls Club of Newark.
You won't find the outcome in the story or the