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You have to hand it to Road Warrior John Cichowski, who has invented so many ways in the past nine years to avoid reporting on the twin crises of choking traffic congestion and inadequate mass transit.
He has searched high (tree trimming and roof snow) and low (potholes) for column topics that require a minimum of legwork and a maximum of ass time in front of the computer.
His piece on Page 1 of The Record today is about as far off commuting issues as you can get, but it also suffers from confusing headlines and photos.
'A tough call for cops'
When I saw that headline over dark, indistinct photos of men and women on cellphones in their cars, I immediately thought the story was about the many officers I've seen talking on their cellphones in police cruisers.
But The Record's editors would never come down that hard on cops, who they depend on for timely release of information about crime to fill local-news pages.
In the same way, Cichowski has completely ignored lax enforcement of speeding, tailgating and other laws on highways, lest he alienate the state police.
Is the supposed lack of enforcement over talking on cellphones while driving such a big deal that it takes up most of Page 1 today?
The same could be said about Friday's huge front-page element on the Rutgers football team -- bigger than any other story on A-1.
Or today's story on rival Catholic school football teams (A-1).
Hang up the phone
Hang up the phone
Are these the stories Editor Marty Gottlieb thinks North Jersey residents really want to see on Page 1 day after day?
What they want to see are stories that don't mask the abysmal failure of Governor Chrsitie to lower property taxes, as he promised when he ran for office.
And examinations of why Christie and the Port Authority -- the bistate transportation agency he has packed with his cronies -- have blocked major expansions of the rail and bus systems.
And they want to see stories based on legwork, not those, like today's Road Warrior farce, based completely on telephone interviews.
Hey, Cichowski, readers want you to hang up the phone, get off your lardy ass and go see for yourself what a mess commuting is these days.
And they want to see stories based on legwork, not those, like today's Road Warrior farce, based completely on telephone interviews.
Hey, Cichowski, readers want you to hang up the phone, get off your lardy ass and go see for yourself what a mess commuting is these days.
Black and white
On Friday, The Record continued to report the refusal of Palisade Park and Leonia police chiefs to disclose the names of the three officers who shot dead robbery suspect Rickey McFadden, 47, of Leonia last Sunday (L-1).
If Bergen County Prosecutor John L. Molinelli is in charge of the probe, why is he deferring to the police chiefs on the release of the names?
So, can readers assume it is a case of three white officers killing another black man, and that there's no rush since the suspect was African-American?
Remember how long it took to identify the cops who killed Malik Williams, 19, of Garfield in December 2011?
Reporting lessons
Remember how long it took to identify the cops who killed Malik Williams, 19, of Garfield in December 2011?
Reporting lessons
Two stories on the Englewood school district appear in today's Local news section from head Assignment Editor Deirdre Sykes and Deputy Assignment Editor Dan Sforza.
An L-1 story doesn't explain why the Englewood Board of Education couldn't find an assistant superintendent from a district other than Paterson, where failed schools have been under state supervision for years.
Please fire someone
The caption under a huge photo of a bus fire on L-1 today is incorrect in saying Route 17 north traffic was restricted to "one lane."
I'm sure I wasn't the only driver on Route 17 south who saw that the highway's northbound lanes were completely closed down -- to the chagrin of thousands of drivers.
Unanswered is why so many first responders were at the scene of a spectacular fire that injured no one or why The Record's inept copy desk under Editor Liz Houlton calls the incident a "disaster."
Calling it a "disaster" helps Sykes and Sforza justify running such a big fire photo in place of local news they are too lazy to find.
The "disaster" is the paper's copy desk.
Hackensack news
The only Hackensack news today is a 7- or 8- paragraph item on L-3 about a collision between a fire rescue truck and an SUV that ran a stop sign.
Just think. The Road Warrior can jump on those types of collisions for his next Page 1 column.
More questions
A second L-3 story doesn't answer obvious questions:
Why did the Bergen County Board of Social Services hire a $140,000-a-year "interim management consultant" all the way from Miami Lakes, Fla.?
Alex Morales is in line to become the agency's executive director.
Couldn't the agency's board find a qualified Hispanic in New Jersey, where the unemployment rate tops 9 percent? Who does Morales know?
Morales' salary is only $1,000 a year less than what Christie is paying his new Superstorm Sandy recovery "czar."
Boy, does this stink.
Please fire someone
The caption under a huge photo of a bus fire on L-1 today is incorrect in saying Route 17 north traffic was restricted to "one lane."
I'm sure I wasn't the only driver on Route 17 south who saw that the highway's northbound lanes were completely closed down -- to the chagrin of thousands of drivers.
Unanswered is why so many first responders were at the scene of a spectacular fire that injured no one or why The Record's inept copy desk under Editor Liz Houlton calls the incident a "disaster."
Calling it a "disaster" helps Sykes and Sforza justify running such a big fire photo in place of local news they are too lazy to find.
The "disaster" is the paper's copy desk.
Hackensack news
The only Hackensack news today is a 7- or 8- paragraph item on L-3 about a collision between a fire rescue truck and an SUV that ran a stop sign.
Just think. The Road Warrior can jump on those types of collisions for his next Page 1 column.
More questions
A second L-3 story doesn't answer obvious questions:
Why did the Bergen County Board of Social Services hire a $140,000-a-year "interim management consultant" all the way from Miami Lakes, Fla.?
Alex Morales is in line to become the agency's executive director.
Couldn't the agency's board find a qualified Hispanic in New Jersey, where the unemployment rate tops 9 percent? Who does Morales know?
Morales' salary is only $1,000 a year less than what Christie is paying his new Superstorm Sandy recovery "czar."
Boy, does this stink.
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