Editors really know how to puck the reader

Hackensack residents are gathering in churches and synagogues, and praying for some municipal news from the editors of The Record. All they hear is "Puck You!"

Pro hockey all over Page 1 of The Record today is Editor Marty Gottlieb's way of saying, "Puck You!" to readers looking for North Jersey news.

Pro football at the bottom of the Local front today is head Assignment Editor Deirdre Sykes' way of saying, "Puck You!" to readers looking for news of their towns.

Using the word "Hackensack" instead of  "Hospital" in an L-1 headline is Production Editor Liz Houlton's way of saying, "Puck You!" to residents who were fooled into reading a story about the medical center that has gobbled up a neighborhood.

Instant snoring

The editors dare you to read today's front-page headlines and stay awake:

"Fracking debate," Utilities authority," "Romney" and "Bank accounts" are guaranteed ways to put insomniacs to sleep.

Staff Writer Stephanie Akin is spending so much time in bed with the defense attorney for suspended Hackensack Police Chief Ken Zisa (L-1), she hasn't found time to write about passage of the city's budget and any property tax increase -- unlike her counterpart in Englewood  (L-3).

 

Gas guzzling

Road Warrior John Cichowski and all of his gas-guzzling readers simply don't get it: 

If you can't afford to say, "Fill it up," you need to buy a hybrid or other fuel-efficient car (L-1).

Cichowski isn't the only columnist who needs to be replaced.

From the fat files

Staff Writer Elisa Ung and free-lancer Jeffrey Page turn out two of the least-interesting restaurant reviews I've seen in a long time (Better Living).

Most of the food at Tutti Giorni in Norwood sounds awful. 

A desperate Ung ends the review by saying the desserts "are still capable of redeeming any prior flaws in your meal" (Pages 18-19).

That's the sugar-addicted reviewer's way of saying to readers who don't eat artery clogging desserts, "Puck You!"

Up the river

If Page again went over his $50 limit on dinner for 2 (at River Kwai in Totowa), then he should order less food and certainly pass on ice cream for dessert (Page 20).