Showing posts with label Social Security. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social Security. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

In nod to evil Christie-Trump axis, editor is ignoring issues

A cartoon by Adam Zyglis of The Buffalo News sums up the controversy nicely.


By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

The baby boomers and retirees who are The Record's core readership certainly want to know whether wacko Donald J. Trump would cut their Social Security and Medicare benefits.

But Editor Deirdre Sykes could care less, as she continues to focus on what a Page 1 story refers to as "the partisan whipsawing" following Trump's war of words with the parents of a Muslim-American soldier killed in Iraq (A-1).

And Sykes continues to allow Governor Christie, transition chief for the racist GOP presidential nominee, to call everyone else a crook and to demand release of their emails (A-1).

What about Christie's emails and text messages, especially the ones that were erased in the Bridgegate scandal? Or his cellphone, which went missing for two years after the September 2013 lane closures?

Doesn't The Record have any interest in them?

Meanwhile, Christie's former top aide and image maker told CNN on Tuesday she will vote for Hillary Clinton on Nov. 8.

Maria Comella called Trump "a demagogue ... preying on people's anxieties with loose information and salacious rhetoric," according to WNYC-FM News.

The largely favorable coverage of Christie shows Sykes continues to bow to The Record's editorial board.

The Woodland Park daily declined to join The Star-Ledger and six other major New Jersey dailies in calling for Christie to resign after he dropped out of the presidential race and endorsed Trump.

For Trump's stance on Social Security, see:

GOP nominee ducks AARP questions

Local news

In Local, Sykes buried another story on L-3 that could have been played on the front page to give readers a break from all the partisan political coverage, and news from the Vatican.

The headline over Staff Writer Jim Norman's upbeat account of National Night Out events in Hackensack, Paterson and other communities said it well:

A time for cops, residents
to find common ground

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Trump ducks AARP questions on plans for Social Security

On his HBO show Friday night, satirist Bill Maher unveiled a mock issue of Us Weekly revealing the "25 Things You Don't Know About" Donald J. Trump, the Republican Party's candidate in the November presidential election.
 
No. 4. "Mar-a-lago is Spanish for "House of Douche." See more below.

Editor's note: In writing this post, I confused Mike Pence and racing driver Mike Spence, who died in a practice crash leading up to the Indy 500 in the state where Pence is now governor. That doesn't augur well for the Republican Party, which is expected to crash and burn in the presidential election.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

You can kiss your Social Security goodbye, if wacko racist Donald J. Trump is elected the next president of the United States.

AARP, the leading advocacy group for Americans who are 50 and over, asked Trump and Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton for their positions on Social Security, noting, "If our leaders don't act, future retirees could lose up to $10,000 a year."

Trump and Clinton were asked to answer two questions: 

"What will you do to make Social Security financially sound for future generations? What specific plans do you have to ensure that Social Security provide adequate benefits to meet the needs of future retirees?"

In a 600-word statement in the July-August issue of AARP Bulletin, Trump's campaign evaded both questions, and answered in generalities:

"The key to preserving Social Security ... is to have an economy that is robust and growing. For too long, Americans have had a great deal of uncertainty in their lives, and the reforms I will bring to D.C. will ... restore confidence in the American economy." 

Asked for specific plans, Trump repeated his first answer:

"As was stated above, I will work with Congress to ensure we have a pro-growth agenda in place."

Hillary Clinton

Clinton's campaign, on the other hand, didn't pull any punches on how she planned "to guarantee dignity in retirement for future generations"

"Hillary understands that there is no way to accomplish that goal without asking the highest-income Americans to pay more, including options to tax some of their income above the current Social Security cap, and taxing some of their income not currently taken into account by the ... system."

She also pledged to fight Republican attempts "to gamble seniors' retirement security on the stock market through privatization," to reduce annual-cost-of-living adjustments and to raise the retirement age."

Asked for specific plans, the campaign said:

"Hillary will expand Social Security for those who need it most -- including women who are widows and those who took significant time out of the paid workforce to take care of their children, aging parents or ailing family members."


No. 7. "I saved the box Melania arrived in so I can return her when she turns 50."

No. 8. "I never actually believed Obama was born in Kenya. Because I thought the name of the country was Kanye."

No. 22. "I cry at movies. Because they're integrated."


Today's paper

You'll search The Record in vain today for any discussion of the future of Social Security or any other issue at stake in the presidential election.

Thanks to Editor Deirdre Sykes, Columnist Charles Stile and other Trenton reporters, this Sunday edition is a journal of partisan politics, as has been the case so many times before.

Since Governor Christie took office in early 2010, Stile has transformed himself from a hard-nosed Trenton reporter into the GOP bully's personal groomer.

Who needs to read yet another Page 1 column on Christie's "decline" after he dropped out of the presidential race and endorsed Trump, but was denied the chance to be the racist's vice presidential running mate (A-1, A-6, A-8)?

Also on A-1 today is a dated story on Trump's selection of Gov. Mike Pence, a crackpot Christian conservative from Indiana, as his plus one in the November election.

Pence has waged war against the LBGT community and food-stamp recipients in his state.

"Exciting, huh?" satirist Bill Maher commented Friday night on HBO. "Nobody knows who this guy [Pence] is. Chris Christie is crushed. Today, his chair said, 'Now you know how I feel.'"

Failed coup

Even given the large number of Turks living in North Jersey, leading the paper with a failed coup in their native country is a huge waste of the front page in a local daily paper (A-1).

Of course, that doesn't mean readers of Local will find any real news of their towns today.

Teterboro Airport -- the source of so much annoying noise for residents of Hackensack, Teaneck, Englewood and other towns -- has its image burnished with photos of a 5K run to benefit the Bergen County United Way (L-1).

The larger photo shows runners "cooling down by standing in mist after the race," raising a question:

Is this one of the sprayers used to de-ice business jets in winter, and if so, was any chemical residue sprayed on runners?

Better Living

Don't bother looking for food news in Better Living today.

Elisa Ung, the paper's chief restaurant reviewer, devotes her entire Corner Table column today to a bake shop in Hawthorne that is high on the "not recommended" list of the National Institute of Diabetes (B-1).

Don't complain

In a letter to the editor today, Moshe Schuldinger of Hackensack puts the battle over raising the gasoline tax in perspective (O-3).

Schuldinger says Bergen County residents have only themselves to blame for high taxes, because they resist the kind of consolidation of services found in Virginia and other states.

Residents of Fairfax County, Va., pay much lower property taxes than Bergen residents, because they have one countywide police department, one fire department, one sanitation department and a school system with one board of education.

"Compare that with Bergen County's roughly 70 town boards, police departments and multiple local boards of education and school districts."

"It's their choice," he says of apathetic voters and others who don't want to get involved. "They shouldn't complain."

On the front of the Opinion section, does Columnist Mike Kelly expose one of those do-nothing police chiefs or school superintendents in Bergen County?

No. Instead, he praises the police chief in Dallas (O-1).


9. "I can peel a banana with my feet."

18. "When I get bored around the office, I make Chris Christie dance around a diaper."

24. "The original name for Trump Tower was My Big Shiny Penis Building."

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Our next president isn't pictured on the front page today

In Hackensack on Tuesday morning, a man walked his young son across the NJ Transit tracks on Railroad Avenue, a largely residential neighborhood that has lived with passing trains in its front yard for decades. In 2012, a 12-year-old boy walking home from school was killed by a train, but The Record didn't bother asking officials why fences were never put up to protect residents.



By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

Governor Christie is taking his lies, distortions and mean-spirited policies on the road again in what The Record calls a presidential "campaign trip in all but name" (A-1).

But you can't tell from today's upbeat front-page coverage -- including four A-1 photos of the GOP bully in New Hampshire -- that Christie is damaged goods, a politician who is unlikely to get the nomination, let alone the victory.

And I'll bet there are unhappy workers in dead-end jobs in the Woodland Park newsroom and all around the country who would vote against Christie just to avoid having to wait until they are 64 to retire early.

Today's Page 1 story is written by Melissa Hayes, the reporter assigned to cover Christie, in her usual adoring style, as you can tell immediately from the first paragraph.

Christie's proposals for Social Security and federal health care are called "overhauls," not cuts (A-1).

"Today, one of the most unpopular governors in the country is unveiling what soon will become one of the most unpopular entitlement reform plans," U.S. Rep. Bill Pascrell, D-Paterson, said, according to PolitickerNJ.com.

Bob Menendez

After Sen. Bob Menendez was indicted by a federal grand jury, The Record leapt to his defense, quoting one defense attorney after another claiming his actions on behalf of a Florida eye doctor were inspired by friendship, not bribery.

Today, Dr. Salomon Melgen, 61, the senator's friend, is back on Page 1 after he was indicted for allegedly trying to bilk Medicare of more than $190 million and receiving $105 million (A-1).

In 2012 alone, health officials reported, Melgen billed Medicare $21 million, more than any other doctor in the nation, The New York Times reported.

If anything, Menendez's really poor judgment in calling this man a friend and accepting free travel and Paris hotel rooms from him should be questioned.

More corrections

The news, assignment and copy desks are on a roll, admitting to two more editing screw-ups on A-2 today.

Readers know The Record only acknowledges a few of the many errors that appear in the paper every day now that six-figure Production Editor Liz Houlton, supervisor of the copy desk, has eliminated all fact checking and limited editing to spell checking.

If you think the A-7 photo of Menendez is unflattering, check out the Englewood Hospital and Medical Center construction photo the news editors are running on A-9 today.

Local news?

Assignment Editors Deirdre Sykes and Dan Sforza continue to rely heavily on Law & Order and court news to fill the thin local-news section, robbing readers of legitimate municipal news (L-1 to L-6).

Four of the six stories on the Local front today distract readers from how poorly many of our towns and school systems are run -- which are among the issues The Record's lazy editors have never been eager to tackle.

Spring surprise

What's the point of running recipes for shad roe with such unhealthy ingredients as butter and bacon that many readers are trying to avoid (BL-1 and BL-4)?

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Christie's 'reform' of entitlements is bad news for you, me

Hackensack police are citing an exemption in the Open Public Records Act in denying Eye on The Record a video statement from Detective Sgt. John C. Straniero of the Bergen County Prosecutor's Office on March 10, the day after his unmarked car struck and fatally injured Hue D. Dang, 64, of Hackensack. He was not charged. The exemption cites an active investigation of the fatality by the Union County Prosecutor's Office.



By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

Even a story reporting Governor Christie plans "to reform Social Security, Medicare and other benefits" sends shivers down the spines of anyone approaching retirement age.

Christie and other conservative Republicans love to throw around the word "reform" to mask their mean-spirited raid of public benefit programs and entitlements, as shown by today's Page 1 story in The Record (A-1).

And gullible reporters like Herb Jackson, the paper's so-called Washington correspondent, have swallowed whole all the broken promises that word represents.

Rare story

Today's front page also carries a rare story on seniors suffering from Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia -- a follow-up to a murder-suicide in which a 100-year-old Elmwood Park man killed his 88-year-old wife before committing suicide (A-1).

"The risk of dementia increases dramatically with age -- more than 5 million Americans age 65 and older have Alzheimer's disease, the most common form of dementia among older people," Staff Writer Mary Jo Layton says.

Of course, the Woodland Park daily has long ignored the problem, and I can't recall a single story on day care for seniors with dementia, even though some of the programs started more than a decade ago.

A perfect candidate for such a day care program is Staff Writer John Cichowski, also known as the Road Warrior, whose chronic errors can only be explained by some form of dementia coupled with a total breakdown in traditional fact checking.

Bottom feeding

A story on the first Business page reports a Walmart with a 24-hour supermarket is opening in two weeks in a new shopping center in Teterboro (L-8).

Consumer Report's May 2015 cover article, "The Best Supermarkets in America," ranks Walmart next to last on its list of 68 chains.

The magazine rated markets nationwide based on 62,197 responses to a survey on the quality of produce, meats and poultry, and bakery goods, as well as store-prepared food, staff courtesy and store cleanliness.

"And what of Walmart, consistently one of our lowest-ranking grocers dating back to 2005? This year, the nation's largest grocer ... earned low marks in every category other than price," according to Consumer Reports.

But you can be sure The Record will publish one glowing story after another about Walmart in return for tens of thousands of dollars in sorely needed advertising revenue.



Monday, September 29, 2014

Columnist dismisses challenge to Tea Party puppet

Utility work on River Street in Hackensack, near the mothballed headquarters of North Jersey Media Group and The Record, made driving difficult last week.


By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

Staff Writer Herb Jackson of The Record is a veteran who is assigned to Washington, where he writes the NJ/DC column, which you'll find on Page 1 today.

In recent years, Jackson has mastered the art of slipping a dagger into any Democrat who challenges one of Congress' most conservative members -- and twisting it.

Rep. Scott Garrett, a six-term Wantage Republican whose district now includes liberal Fair Lawn, Hackensack and most of Teaneck, is a puppet of the Tea Party and against just about everything, especially social programs.

Money talks

Today's column reports Garrett and his Democratic challenger, attorney Roy Cho of Hackensack, began running TV ads this month (A-1).

But Jackson is dazzled by Garrett's fund raising, nearly $3.2 million, compared to Cho's expected $900,000, and he's already called the race on that basis alone.

Jackson never mentions Garrett's initial opposition to federal aid for Sandy victims or his desire to delay eligibility for both Social Security and Medicare, starting with people born in 1958 and after.

Cut health care

Nor does he discuss Garrett's plan to dismantle the Affordable Care Act -- which has given health insurance to tens of millions who never had it -- and boost defense spending to $699 billion in 2022.

Jackson has so much pull in Washington he couldn't even get an interview with Garrett, who doesn't announce where he is campaigning and hasn't agreed to debate Cho.

What kind of reporter is Jackson when he doesn't even report Garrett's mean-spirited policies and positions, as listed on the congressman's own Web site?

See: I'm Scott Garrett, and I hate people

Crystal balls

Today's Jackson column is long-winded -- typical of The Record's white, middle-age columnists.

So, he saves the knockout punch for the last paragraph after reporting Cho's charge that Garrett is even against federal spending to repair the transportation network relied on by 1 million people in Bergen County alone.

"It's an argument Garrett's challengers have been making since 2002," fortune teller Jackson reports. "And so far, none has come close to succeeding."

The Nov. 4 election will decide representation in the boomerang-shaped 5th District.

Here is a post I wrote in 2012 on how The Record and Jackson treated Adam Gussen, then-Teaneck's deputy mayor, the previous Garrett challenger:

Nobody at The Record knows his name

Hackensack news

On the Local front today, Staff Writer Todd South reports Al Dib, Hackensack's legal analyst and historian, has unearthed information that "averts wrangling" over development of a 4.3-acre parking lot near Forschini Park, as the headline puts it (L-1).

South still hasn't done a follow-up to his story on a group of Democrats who propose to change the form of government and switch to partisan elections in an effort to regain the power they lost in 2013.


Thursday, October 20, 2011

Editors trot out pathetic seniors

Roosevelt Signs The Social Security Act: Presi...Image via Wikipedia
President Franklin D. Roosevelt signing the Social Security Act in 1935.


Where do you send a reporter to interview seniors about the first raise in Social Security benefits in three years?


If you are Editors Francis Scandale and Deirdre Sykes or one of their clueless minions -- who have shown only contempt for the elderly -- you assign your reporter to go to two senior centers and gather tales of "woe is me."


On Page 1 of The Record today, Staff Writer Colleen Diskin reports seniors fear much of the increase could be swallowed up by an expected hike in Medicare premiums.


Fair enough. Is that valid for all 55 million Social Security recipients?


Why didn't the reporter go to a couple of gyms, where many seniors work out every day? 


Why not interview a few seniors who regard Social Security as a nice supplement to their investment and other income when they're not off enjoying luxury river cruises in Europe and other travel?


Chasing 20-year-olds


When circulation began to fall a few years after Scandale took over as editor, his strategy was to try and attract readers in their 20s. 


That coverage was a slap in the face to readers 55 and over, the ones who have all the money to buy cars and other goods and services from the paper's advertisers.


Of course, the strategy failed, but Scandale was promoted to vice president, anyway.


In recent years, Scandale and Sykes have continued to ignore seniors, running far more stories on autism than Alzheimer's disease, and filling Local with numerous accident photos that portray the elderly as menaces behind the wheel.  


Today's A-1 story fortifies that image of a pathetic group living out their last years while scraping together enough money to feed and clothe themselves.


But Scandale didn't think Social Security is that big of a deal, certainly not as important as the battle over the re-opening of Pascack Valley Hospital in Westwood, a story that belongs on the front of Local, not taking up much of today's front page.


Hospitals that oppose the plan claim there are already 400 vacant beds in Bergen County -- a seeming impossibility given all the recipes the paper runs for baked goods made with sticks of butter and cups of heavy cream, and all the fatty prime beef recommended by its pudgy restaurant reviewer, Elisa Ung, or is it Ugh?


Animal farm


Any why waste space on the front page for a national story everyone saw on the TV news last night -- the deadly police safari in Zanesville, Ohio? Gee whiz, readers must be saying, as they strain to see the carcasses in the small photo on A-8.


When is the last time Scandale ran anything on the paralysis in Congress, rather than jumping on the media bandwagon of covering the 2012 presidential election, still more than a year away?


Look at all the space wasted on those moronic Republican Party candidates on A-11 today. Why not start coverage with the first primary, rather than report all the ridiculous jawboning in the debates?


In New Jersey, Governor Christie's attack on the judiciary over pension and health benefits doesn't seem to be going anywhere (A-3 and L-1). Why isn't that on Page 1?


On A-2, two more sports corrections -- following several others in recent weeks  -- suggest that department's copy desk has just started to make a lot of mistakes or just started acknowledging them. 


Earth-shaking news


Sykes' assignment desk came up with big news for L-1 today -- a minor fire in Teaneck and yet another story about six towns continuing to study "a proposed shared dispatching center."


When is someone going to "dispatch" Sykes and the rest of her incompetent assistant assignment editors, and replace them with people who can inspire reporters to cover their towns?


Today, readers won't find any municipal news from Englewood, Teaneck or many other communities, but more than 20 inches are devoted to an air show in West Milford (L-6).


In Hackensack news, a Syrian Orthodox church has dropped plans to expand in the Fairmount neighborhood -- the first municipal news from the city since Oct. 14, when a story about another church appeared.


In filler on L-3 today, an apparent production error resulted in an incomprehensible weather photo -- with a gray bar running along the bottom of the image.


Upsetting stomachs


The highly promotional Better Living cover story on upscale food at sports arenas doesn't say whether Madison Square Garden is aware MSG is the abbreviation for a flavor enhancer that causes headaches and other adverse reactions?


Will its MSG Signature Collection menu become associated with monosodium glutamate, whose widespread use caused "Chinese restaurant syndrome"?


A lot is missing from Staff Writer Kara Yorio's poorly reported story -- especially prices, and whether the hamburgers and chicken hot dogs with kimchi are naturally raised. 


Maybe her assignment editor wanted to downplay how sports arenas are just as intent on ripping off fans now as they were in the old days of preservative-filled hot dogs and pricey cups of beer.


And is Yorio serious in her gimmicky lead paragraph? "Not that long ago, sushi at a sports arena was the food choice of someone who finds food poisoning fun...."


What arena was serving spoiled raw fish to fans? Food poisoning is "fun"? Does anybody edit Better Living stories to ensure they don't sound like they were written by novices? 


Finally, is it just a coincidence that another promotional -- though poorly written -- story on the renovation of Madison Square Garden appears on A-4 today?


Why do almost all of Staff Writer John Brennan's stories sound like he's been bribed with season tickets?


Four years, no raise


An Anonymous comment from a reader of Eye on The Record has been added to the post, How much does Stephen Borg make?


The comment comes from someone who works in advertising. After a salary cut, this employee says he/she hasn't had a raise in nearly four years -- while Borg lives high on the hog in his $3.65 million Tenafly mansion.


The employee also asks whether one of the vice presidents quit.


Here is a link to the Stephen Borg post:


How much does Stephen Borg make?




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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

How does a paper get so boring?

Roosevelt Signs The Social Security Act: Presi...Image via Wikipedia
President Franklin D. Roosevelt signing the Social Security Act in August 1935.

You have to give the page designer an A for effort, but if you actually try to read the front page of The Record today, it will put you to sleep.

The main element is the debate over the federal budget -- a "battle," in newspaper parlance -- and the Woodland Park daily's package of headlines, text and photos is certainly attractive, but it all boils down to the Democrats say this and the Republicans say that.

If you think the Associated Press is a weak wire service, check out the story at the bottom of Page 1 from McClatchy Newspapers, quoting "disappointed budget experts."  

This slanted piece of trash actually tries to make a case for cutting three of the greatest government programs in existence: Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.

Editor Francis Scandale will do anything to create conflict, and make readers feel anxious.

There's even more about the federal budget on the continuation page (A-6): pie charts, graphs, more photos, more text. Are you still awake?

The headline on the lead A-1 story today sounds like it's about the bloated Passaic Valley Sewerage Commissioners, the constipated officials who were on the front page several times recently as Governor Christie gave them an enema:

Agency
workers
awash 
in perks

But this story is about another agency, the Passaic Valley Water Commission, which also pays  bloated salaries and overtime. My eyes are getting heavy. Given all the exposure of the sewerage agency, a better headline would have been, "Another agency awash in perks."

The third main story on the front page tries to sum up seven hours of testimony before a Superior Court judge on state education funding, an issue that is before the Supreme Court again. Less than riveting.

About the only interesting thing on the Editorial Page is Margulies' cartoon of Christie: "My Way or The Highway," riffing on the battle over highway toll revenue.

Sleepy Hollow

On the front of head Assignment Editor Deirdre Sykes' Local section, Columnist Charles Stile rehashes how Christie has taken on the state Supreme Court. At least in this column, Stile identifies former Associate Justice John Wallace as the court's only African-American member.

Under Sykes, how well residents are informed about events in their towns is in direct proportion to the enterprise of the assignment editors and the legwork of the reporters who cover those towns.

So you have a dynamo like Staff Writer Denisa R. Superville, who has three stories in the section today -- two of them on the front -- and then you have slugs like Hackensack reporter Monsy Alvarado and Englewood reporter Giovanna Fabiano, who seems to be writing about everything but the city she is supposed to cover.

Monday, August 9, 2010

We give you The Passaic Record

Map of Pompton Lakes in Passaic County. Inset:...Image via Wikipedia

When there was more than one edition of The Record of Woodland Park, Bergen County residents might think a paper with a lot of Passaic news -- like today's -- was delivered to them by mistake. But today's Passaic-centric edition is no mistake. With the local Bergen editors off in La-La Land, this single edition is all the desperate weekend staff could come up with.

For those subscribers who still call the paper The Bergen Record, here is The Passaic Record.


The front page needs not one but two filler wire-service stories to supplement the main North Jersey element -- more on DuPont pollution in Pompton Lakes (map). One of them, a doomsday AP piece on Social Security payouts and revenue during the recession, omits any information about the system's huge reserves. No attempt was made to localize either wire story.

The Pompton Lake clean-up story appears to be of wide interest -- this lake serves as backup to reservoirs that supply drinking water to many North Jersey towns-- but the focus is on technical aspects of removing soil. My eyes glazed over. Could this story get any more boring? 

At the same time, the reporter never answers the question of whether mercury has tainted drinking water in those reservoirs.

It's bad enough North Jersey Media Group and other companies stampeded hundreds of thousands of workers into early retiement, but why is its flagship paper leading today's edition with a Social Security story that amounts to a fraud? Reserves of $2.5 trillion -- that's right, trillion -- plus payroll taxes are expected to cover full payment of benefits for 33 years, according to the Congressional Budget Office.

The front of Local is filled with more Passaic County news -- from Wayne, Clifton, and Woodland Park. Inside, you won't find any news of Hackensack, Teaneck or the 'Woods (Englewood, Westwood, Wood-Ridge and Ridgewood), but you will find a story from Ringwood.

Editor Frank "Castrato" Scandale lives in Glen Rock and head Assignment Editor Deirdre "Mother Hen" Sykes lives in Harrington Park. You'd think they could get more Bergen County news into the paper, wouldn't you?

On days like this, the Passaic County bias is so blatant, it must have to do with more than the move of NJMG and The Record newsroom to Woodland Park, and the move of daily newspaper printing to Rockaway Township.


Just about the only Bergen thing left at the old Bergen Record is Old Man Borg slowly walking the empty hallways of the former headquarters at 150 River St., Hackensack. He's probably muttering to himself, What the f--- did my two spoiled brats do to my beloved paper?