On another slow-news day, calling all morons

On Friday morning, this bicyclist and a friend made better progress along narrow, antiquated Passaic Street in Hackensack and Maywood than did many drivers, who are slowed by traffic backing up at intersections without turn lanes.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

Burned-out reporter John Cichowski long ago ran out of ideas for his commuting column in The Record, and he's too lazy to cover mass transit.

So, in desperation, he sent e-mails to loyal readers, seeking comment on the plan to shift Route 17 exits from the left side of the Garden State Parkway to the right in a bid to end long backups and a high number of crashes.

Inevitably, as today's Page 1 Road Warrior column shows, the morons came out in droves with inane alternatives, including one man who wants a pothole near his home repaired (A-1). 

Most of Cichowski's readers are interested only in seeing their names in print, and they've been playing him like the fool he is for more than a decade.

Well, at least two of his readers are aware of a huge problem Cichowski has ignored: 

Declining state police enforcement of speeding and aggressive driving.

"The problem is ... a lack of police ticketing seeders," said Peter Peirano (A-6).

"The state should set up speed cameras," Steve Gigante of Hackensack said, to which I say, "Amen."

More wasted space

Virginia Rohan, another columnist who ran out of ideas, revives the finale of "The Sopranos" nearly seven years ago, and asks creator David Chase whether Tony Soprano died in the final episode (Better Living front).

Who the f--- cares? What a waste of space.

Playing catch-up

Since the George Washington Bridge scandal exploded in January, The Record has reluctantly reported that Governor Christie's first term was pretty much a disaster and that so far, his second term hasn't been any great shakes (A-1, A-3, A-4 and A-7).

On Page 1, Staff Writer Hugh R. Morley reports "New Jersey ... has lagged behind the nation in job creation."

On A-4, Staff Writer Melissa Hayes, one of Christie's chief boosters, says, "New Jersey is struggling to create jobs, maintain its credit rating and balance its budget."

In the continuation of Morley's story, the reporter says, "While the nation has added on average 215,000 jobs a month this year, New Jersey has yet to gain jobs in 2014" (A-7).

What the Woodland Park daily doesn't attempt to explain -- in view of Christie's dismal record on the economy and other areas -- is how he managed to win a second term last November.

Or why nearly every editor, reporter and columnist at The Record has spent so much time promoting Christie's presidential ambitions.

A Honda CR-V seen on Cedar Lane in Teaneck on Friday carries a license plate I haven't seen since I left The Record in 2008. "BER" stands for Bergen Evening Record.

Big Hackensack news?

On the Local front today, there is big news for Hackensack residents, I guess.

Stephen A. Borg, the Silver Spoon publisher of The Record, says a deal to develop the 19.7 acres that served as the daily's home for decades is off, but another developer is waiting in the wings (L-1).

Apartment developer Fred Daibes is out and a mysterious national firm is in, a city spokesman said.

One of the few new things in the story is the $23.44 million value of the land along River Street in Hackensack, according to state taxation officials.

Of course, the story contains a major error.

Staff Writer Christopher Maag claims the property is "one block east of Main Street," when it is, in fact, two short blocks away from the city's depressed shopping district.

The parking lot of the old Record headquarters -- part of a notorious flood zone -- is being used for the cars of visitors, attorneys and jurors who were displaced by construction of a new building next to the Bergen County Courthouse.